Be your own life coach (Part 4 – Relationships)

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d6961002d7277cc29f2af3a72fc791e8If we are unhappy in any aspect of our life it can affect our performance at work. Think about it, if things are not great at home, you get to work and you just can’t focus fully. So this part looks at relationships with family, friends and partners and what we can do to improve relationships.

Family Relationships

Set family orientated goals. If family is important to you, make a conscious commitment to prioritising family time. Just as you would set goals for your career, set simple goals each week for your family.

Give quality time. Even if it means blocking time out in your diary, make sure you can shut off completely from your phone, tablet or computer so that your family has your full attention for the time you have given them so you can really focus on the people you care for.

Put yourself in their shoes. Take time to see yourself from your family members position. Really put yourself in their shoes to understand how you may be coming across and make changes to improve the relationship.

Social Life

Understand what social life means to you. Quite often enough we tend to go with what we have been used to e.g. binge drinking at weekends or going down the local pub. But what really makes you happy? Have a think about your best social interactions. What was it about those interactions that made them the best? Do more of them!

Take the initiative. Rather than wait for someone to text or call about seeing a movie or going for dinner, start initiating plans yourself.

Friendships

Be friends with people you can be yourself around. Surround yourself with like-minded people who will drive and motivate you and not those that bring you down.

Build bridges. Learn to forgive and move on if you fall out with a friend. Holding a grudge has never been much use to anyone.

Make time for friends. If your schedule is busy find out how you can include friends in some of your goals – perhaps go running together or ask a friend if you can rehearse a pitch with them.

Finding Love 

Start loving yourself. Think about it, how can you expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself? Accept compliments, change any negative thoughts about yourself to positive ones by recognising the great things you’re doing and what you have achieved so far. Work on how you feel about yourself by doing things that play to your strengths.

Clear the past. We often judge future relationships on experiences that have happened in the past and we tend to create a belief that future relationships will be the same – don’t! Let go of the past, take the learnings and move on.

Lose the negative attitude. It’s not useful to have negative believes such as “I’m never going to met someone or I’m not good enough” – if that’s what you believe that that’s what will happen. You can make more positive things happen in your love life, by having more positive thoughts like “I just haven’t met the right person YET”. Work on changing your frame of mind by changing your thoughts.

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